Emotions must remain outside

In our consulting work, we often hear explanations as to why emotions should be left out of business. In some places, the image has even become established that emotions are like badly behaved puppies. When I enter the office, the motto is: emotions must be kept outside the door. When I go home in the evening, I pack them up again and then they are allowed to ‘romp around’ a bit. Once in the office, team members should “function” as well as possible. We often hear statements like: ‘Why don’t my employees listen to me and implement agreed changes? The facts are on the table! We need to work more efficiently and introduce the new software to achieve this. What’s so difficult about that?

People are not robots, not machines that react at the push of a button. We all know that – in theory. And yet, in practice, a mindset that equates people with machines persists. We ask ourselves: What buttons do I need to press to make my team run smoothly? The roles are clearly defined and everyone should work like a cog in a clock. Feelings have no place in this way of thinking.

Feelings open the door to authenticity

But the reality is that our feelings cannot be separated from us. We are a unity of body, thoughts and emotions. Without empathic social interaction, no human being could grow up, learn, develop motivation and performance. Feelings connect us. They bring us into contact with ourselves and others and open the door to authenticity. Only when I recognize a person’s emotions can I recognize the kind of person I am dealing with.

All our emotions have an important benefit and this also applies to unpleasant feelings such as sadness or anger. They help us to master difficult situations, sharpen our awareness and become aware of our needs.

Emotions are contagious

We have fine antennae for recognizing the emotions of others. Even if we don’t always consciously use these antennae in everyday life, we unconsciously allow ourselves to be infected by the emotional vibrations in the room.

And: suppressed emotions are also contagious. This often happens during quick transitions from one meeting to the next. If I get angry about a colleague’s attack in the first meeting of the day and then immediately go into the next meeting, the risk of contagion is quite high. If the emotion is not consciously processed, I can suppress it, but I can’t really push it away. I seem to be concentrating on the new topic, but my body and mind are still emotionally activated in the background. Outwardly, my colleagues then see a discrepancy between what I say and what I radiate through my body language, tone of voice and facial expressions. The emotional message finds its way through and ends up sticking with my colleagues as an impression.

The emotional contagion happens quickly, sometimes ‘quietly’. The effect is amplified if a person is expressive or if hierarchy is involved. This means that employees are more likely to be infected by the emotions of their bosses. Entire corporate cultures can be traced back to the emotional attitude of managers. Which mentality and which atmosphere are promoted in the long term? A mentality of confidence and curiosity? Or a mentality of fear and mistrust?

Emotions carry a deep intelligence within them

They make us aware of what we need, where we are drawn to or what is not good for us. Permanently ignoring them leads to conflict and, in the worst case scenario, affects our health. Emotions are in our bodies and cannot simply be pushed away or left outside the office door. They make their way ‘up’ into our consciousness and continue to do so until they are heard.

Use the intelligence of emotions and listen or feel a little more closely:

How am I feeling right now? What emotions are coming up inside me?
What does this emotion draw my attention to? What helpful function could this emotion have?
How can I take care of myself right now? How can I take care of my team? What solutions can I find together with my team to use emotions constructively?

Consciously plan a 15-minute break between your meetings or take a short walk during your lunch break to explore your emotions using the reflection questions.

Establish a check-in with your team where feelings are actually talked about and you say stop as soon as they are ignored.

Discuss in the team what needs to happen so that they allow more emotions.

Emotions are the essential “lubricant” for good communication and enable a genuine connection between people. So it takes reason and emotion to create an atmosphere in which teams can develop their full potential.